i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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