You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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