I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize