good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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