Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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