And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize