love makes seman taste better
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize