Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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