Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there was a trapeze. enough said
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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