Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize