Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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