i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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