I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize