two words: eviction party
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize