i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just invented taco cereal.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I need water and some morals
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