dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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