We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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