My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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