I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
well, you know. whores of a feather.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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