Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize