do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize