Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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