I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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