I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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