: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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