a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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