I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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