alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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