He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Never underestimate the power of titties
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize