Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just google imaged poop.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I know her cup size but not her name....
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