im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize