If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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