Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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