My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize