you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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