Will you blow on my dice?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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