Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize