I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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