You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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