I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize