I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Farmville is her only friend.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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