she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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