I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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