if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
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It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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