Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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