I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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