I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize