I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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