we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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