It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize